Ah, well seems Allen, left to sleep? Or I don't know. I feel suddenly pumped and good to go and posts a dam lot of posts that I've procrastinated even though I have perfectly nothing to do. And my mother counts using the computer as doing nothing and force me to be the meido of the house... yet again. But it feels fine. Sucks, that I don't get paid.

I'd really want to go on a summer job but dang, the only summer job available is for the citizens of our city and das just not fair. Because living in the countryside is awesome! Those perks of living in the city are unfair. щ(ಠ益ಠщ)

Besides, I keep on ditching my appointments so i guess it's fine. I've been avoiding social contact for awhile as well as going to the outside world. the times I'd only go is if I need to buy something in the store or if I'm asked to do errands. Other than that, nada!

I didn't even went with the procession because I've been feeling bad. Like those moments that even your physical body can't keep up because of mental and emotional stress that not even can your family notice so how do you think would other people even understand how you feel?

On the other hand, interacting via internet is different so you won't even able to play out or see what kind of feeling the one you chat is. Like example, those moments in real life when you say, "I'm fine" but internally you're dying. It's very easy to cover up those in the virtual world. No one can see the "real" you. It would be far easier to cover up and deceive people. And why the hell am I getting emotional again?!

What's the connection? First, I'm talking about summer jobs and schiz and then I get emotional. Oh well.Even if some quizzes in the internet aren't really that reliable, I can admit that I have been very moody lately and I have rapid outbursts and can easily change from one mood to another.

I'm very much afraid for my mental state.